The Best Is Yet to Come: How My Grandpa’s Long Battle with Alzheimer’s and Love of Tony Bennett Led Me to Music Therapy

Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum
You came along and everything started to hum
Still it's a real good bet the best is yet to come

“The Best Is Yet to Come” Tony Bennett

We are continuations of the people and experiences that came before us.

For me, one of those people was my Grandpa Homer and his love of music; specifically, his love of Tony Bennett’s music. This is the story of how my grandpa’s love of music led me to Music Therapy.

Photo description: vacationing in Colorado with my Grandpa Homer just 5 months before his death.

When I was in high school, my Grandpa Homer—who was well known in our small Missouri town for his generosity, kindness, love of animals, and biting sense of humor—was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. He owned and operated a family furniture store, Ellis Furniture Co. (now owned by my Dad) and everyone in town knew that if they needed furniture for their family—even if they couldn’t afford it—Homer Ellis would help them out. He was one of the good ones.

The disease initially progressed slowly over a period of several years, but by the end he had trouble remembering a lot of things, sometimes even the names and faces of his own children. He was often confused and disoriented, still spending time at the family furniture store socializing with customers but no longer in charge of operations.

By that time, I was in college studying music at Belmont University in Nashville, TN.

I grew up singing and knew I wanted a career in music, but I wasn’t sure how I wanted that to look. I was certain that I didn’t want anything to do with the music business, but an obvious alternative had not yet presented itself. That is, until I started seeing how music “worked” with my Grandpa Homer in the throes of Alzheimer’s disease.

Anytime I visited home, I would sing jazz standards with my grandpa, and disorientation would give way to clarity. He would sing every single word by heart, dance, and even share precious memories that had been suffocated by Alzheimer’s tight grip. The music would somehow “bring him back” to us for periods of time.

In November 2008, my parents called and told me that my grandpa had suffered a severe stroke. I was advised that if I wanted to say goodbye to him, I needed to leave Nashville immediately and drive home to Missouri, where hopefully I could say goodbye in the hospital.

When I got to Kansas City eight hours later, I went to his bedside and gently placed an ear bud in his ear. I pressed play on my iPod and Tony Bennett started singing: “I Left My Heart in San Francisco,” “Fly Me To the Moon,” “Because of You,” and “The Best Is Yet to Come.” I noticed that with every song my grandpa would indicate recognition with the subtlest of movements: a tiny twitch, a nearly indiscernible smile, a finger tap. Perhaps to the untrained eye it was nothing. But to me, I could see he was still responding to his favorite music, even after his battle with Alzheimer’s and the stroke. The music was inexplicably reaching a part of him that was hard to understand – it was reaching his soul.

My grandpa passed away that day, but my last memory of him is sharing a set of headphones and listening to “The Best is Yet to Come” by Tony Bennett.

It wasn’t long after that that I decided to pursue a career in music therapy. Now, I’m lucky enough to call the San Francisco Bay Area my home. I’ve been practicing music therapy for 10 years, and to this day I continue to use Tony Bennett’s music regularly in music therapy sessions.

So thank you for your music, Tony. We will keep singing it for you. And thank you for being one of the last voices my beloved Grandpa Homer heard.

To honor both the late, great Tony Bennett and my grandpa Homer, here is our cover of “I Left My Heart in San Francisco,” accompanied by my husband (who also happens to be a music therapist.) I hope you’ll sing this one with us.

To learn more about music therapy and how to work 1:1 with a Board-Certified Music Therapist, please visit www.feelcreativewellness.com or email me today.

For a behind-the-scenes look into the life of a Music Therapist, let’s connect on Instagram: @feelcreativewellness